That's No Bull

I dedicate this post to my cousin Kristy and her swooning office mates back in Mansfield, Ohio.



Hey Pioneer Woman, are you reading my blog today? (As if! The lady gets thousands of comments a day!) If so, I wanted you to know I took one of your ideas and ran with it.

Remember the day you came up with slogans for your ranch that would make great t-shirts? Well, you were right! I ordered one for my cute cowboy husband to wear to this year's branding at our family cattle ranch. (For those confused, this is a different ranch than Galloping Grace.)And boy did he look cute wearing it!The front--And the back-- It made me smile every time I looked at it--NO BULL! That there's funny, I don't care who you are!

So thank you, Pioneer Woman. Keep those brilliant ideas rollin'!



FYI, I also had a shirt made for myself with another PW slogan. It read, "You can't HANDLE the calf nuts." (Said in your best A Few Good Men voice.) However, there are no images for your viewing pleasure. I am not near as photogenic as my hubby.

Alira And Why I'm Lonesome No More

Early last week we got a visit from Max's Aunt Karen to GG. She had her great granddaughter Alira in town from Michigan. Alira happens to be a big horse fan, so naturally Karen thought to bring her out to ride. The schedule was full, but Trish kindly volunteered to help out so that we could accommodate Karen and Alira. Thanks, Trish!

When it came time to do chores, Max ever so sweetly let his aunt know that she was always welcome to scoop poop.

Karen didn't hesitate in the slightest.

I just got to thinking that maybe you all are getting mighty sick of seeing poop removal pictures. I am redundant at best. I like to show the same idea over and over. I am really redundant with my images. Wait--I already said that. Alira and Max saddled up Seabiscuit for an adventure in one of the round pens. Max said Alira was definitely a natural and should try to keep up riding when she gets home. This horse crazy girl got a morning being around the animals she loves. At one point she showed me a picture of her room where all her walls were covered with pictures of equines. After her session was over, she asked Max if she could brush every single animal. She didn't finish them all, but it was only because her grandma insisted they head out.
Karen and Alira, we're so happy you came out to see us. It was a fun morning filled with grateful smiles and plenty of hugs.

For those keeping track of my reading habits, last night I finished reading Lonesome Dove--all 945 glorious pages of it. I LOVED it so much. My eyes were puffy today from the out-loud sobbing I was doing yesterday afternoon. It was one of those books you want to hurry up and read, but you don't want it to end. (I stole and then paraphrased that line from a review I read for the sequel to LD--just go with it.) If you have never read it, you are so lucky! That means you have the chance to fall in love with the characters and head out with them on their dangerous cattle drive through Indian country over thousands of miles. I tell you what--I would have hung with them for thousands more miles if the author would have kept writing. If any of you know Larry, let him know he shouldn't be so stingy with the amount of pages next time! Geez.

If anyone asks me my favorite book from now on, Lonesome Dove will always be near the top of the list. I shall rest now.

Jumping Joy

Abigail, 

Thanks for the love.

:),

The Galloping Grace Gang

No Cheese Please

Top of the morning to you. (Or day or night--just top, that's the important thing.)

I've been a little on the sluggish side going out to GG as of late. It will be much more convenient to check out the fun once we live on the premises. Right now, I feel like I have too many things I need to do around the house. (Which I never get done.) I was sure happy I got off my lazy rear on Tuesday. I got to meet this super sweet lady Sarah (Sara?) and her cute and funny boys. Sarah is one of those people you instantly like and then think, "She'd make a great friend." Tyler was the younger boy, but he had spunk!
He was one determined poop scooper. And Caden, well is was pretty much an old pro. I could tell this wasn't his first time to use that pitch fork. The group shot in the pen might not be a framer, but it makes me smile. Tyler and Caden are right--it's weird to make them pose for a picture after scooping poop. It just isn't real life. Why would anyone consider such an activity photo worthy? I have much to learn from the wee ones.

Nice meeting you, my new friends. I hope to make it out another time when you visit. We'll have to take some pictures of you pulling weeds or picking up trash. I can hardly wait.

Demolition Darren

Darren, our passionate security expert, has been quite the help to Max this summer, especially when he wants to be. I was giving him a lot of grief last week when the men all returned from getting hay. I asked Darren if he had helped buck any hay. His response--"No, I was supervising." Darren, that's my gig. Back off!

Darren loves coming out to GG. He will often call Max in the evenings to see if he can pick him up the following morning. Max enjoys Darren and appreciates his help. If he can, Max will gladly go and pick him up even though it is almost a half hour out of his way in the morning and then again in the afternoon.

Monday morning I found Darren deep in a work project. An existing fence was falling apart and needed to be removed. Darren was all about tearing it apart. I walked over so he could show me what he had already accomplished. Impressive indeed. Darren's great that way. He will cheerfully take on jobs in which no one else is interested. He volunteers for a park by his house to lock up the bathrooms every night and then unlock them in the morning. I wouldn't be so kind. Darren is.
Darren has also cleaned out Max's truck on several occasions. Huge help!
Darren, Max and Galloping Grace are very lucky to have you around.
Keep on keepin' on.

Mr. Pumpkin Head Creates

Many of you long time readers might recall Max tends to get a little obsessed. There was a chunk of time I could walk into the office and find him researching worms for his compost pile. He just couldn't get enough. The passion is still there, but the object is different now.

Max's very favorite time of the year is almost upon us. He LOVES fall and anything to do with the pumpkin stand, our biggest fundraiser of the year. He loves the pumpkins themselves, he loves the happy children enjoying his hard work--he just thinks it is so much fun.

The last two years the stand we had was a big hit with children and parents alike. When Max looks back on pictures from last year, he cringes. He thinks it was ugly (not the tower pictured above) and looked thrown together. He vows that this year it will wow. From the amount of time he spends researching his many ideas, I think I believe him.

Today he went to the lot and measured everything out. Tonight he was blessed with a big chunk of time with no one around. I was at a preschool meeting (OK, I was sitting in my friend's car talking for a couple hours after the meeting let out) and the children were in bed. Blissful thinking/planning time. I came home to find this:The rectangles you see are meticulously cut out shapes, all drawn to scale, placed on his graph paper. Each represents a different feature of the Kiddie Corral--corn box, corn maze, pumpkin tower, etc. Since taking this picture, the shapes have changed to a lovely shade of orange.

I love my big kid who works so hard making the little kids happy. I know many will benefit from his passion for pumpkins!

Too Much Information

If you were offended by my "winking" post, you had better stop now. Here I go warning you people again. Still, several of you will say, "I can't believe you showed that!" Folks, I am here to inform--the good, bad and the ugly. It's what I do.

Please, if you find yourself to be a little prudish, read no more.

If you find bathroom humor offensive, this isn't the post for you.

Are we clear as mud? I'll go on.

I mentioned in a couple posts back that Black has a serious tooth infection causing his sinus cavity to fill up something fierce. Globs of infected mucous plop into his trough as he drinks. He eats his grain, he then eats a little runny stuff. Stinks to be Black right now. This little drip is NOTHING! This is after a few days of antibiotics.

You'd think he would appreciate having it wiped off. Nope, look at the terrified expression on his face. Renee's such a swell pal digging up in his nose.

I will now demonstrate, with the help of Max and Renee, how to administer antibiotics up a horse's rear. This is the informing part I mentioned earlier. The vast majority of you have never experienced this first hand. Just say thanks and take it all in.

Gently move the tail off to one side. Pick a side, any side.See that wise guy, Darren. He knows enough to stay out of the pen. He was in charge of holding the medication until go time.
Lube a tube, a small yellow one, and gently fish it up the, uh, hole.
A little farther.
Just about right. Insert antibiotic-filled syringe into that little yellow tube and begin pushing the meds. Your horse should offer little resistance.
There you go. That wasn't so bad, right? And now you painlessly acquired a little knowledge without having to perform the deed.

In case you are feeling ill or mad or disgusted--

Cutie pies loving a kitty. All is right in the world once again.

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I don't ask a lot of Max. Hardly anything at all, really. If a man's gonna have a wife, he would want one like me. Right, honey? Honey?

So why do you think Max would neglect to take pictures of a hay loading and unloading when his wife so lovingly encouraged him to take the camera? I have no idea. But I can tell you one thing, it verges on spousal abuse. The thought of taking the camera out of the bag never occurred to him the entire day. Not when he, Kurt, Gary and Darren went to the farm. Not when Roy rode out to meet them. Not when Becky, Rebekah, Marcie, Amanda, Sarah, Carri, Alex, Renee, Steph, Mike, Kurt and Deborah stared unloading--not even once.

I called Max on my way out to the ranch after dropping the girls off at a slumber party.

Me: Honey, are you taking pictures of the unloading until I get there?

Max: Uh, no.

Me: Well, you took some earlier. . . right?

Max: No, not a one. It never crossed my mind. I'm sorry.

Thirteen years married and the man doesn't realize thorough documentation of blog worthy events is my love language? Could it be that he doesn't care? Surely not.

Alex, master photographer extraordinaire, was there during the unloading and that didn't even spark Max's memory. He got the camera out after I called, but by then the work had ended. Alex had my camera when I got there. When it came time for a group picture of the remaining crew, I let Alex go ahead and take it.

I think it turned out really cute. Somehow Alex took it in black and white as well. All hay buddies, thanks so much for helping out! We really appreciate your time and muscles. I've been there and know what hard, itchy, sweaty work that is. GG is lucky to have you.

Max, you're still the best hubby ever! I love you and your forgetful brain.

I wanted to give a big shout out to Becky. She is training for a marathon and had run TWENTY miles earlier in the day. She then came out and threw hay bales around! Impressive stuff. That is what I call going above and beyond.

Anyone read this thing on the weekend?

Hey Renee--thanks for all your help feeding last weekend and this morning. We appreciate you so much!

Feast For A King

WE ARE BLESSED!

We just are. We are completely surrounded by giving, working, caring individuals who do nothing but help and care for us. Galloping Grace has given that to us.

I think tomorrow I'll discuss the hay movers that saved the day. Kurt is one of them! He went from moving hundreds of bales to expertly grilling steaks for our dining pleasure. Yep, you read that right. Kurt volunteered to go get hay with Max, and then he and his wife Heidi (one of our very wonderful session volunteers) brought and prepared a gourmet meal for us! How cool is that? We had steak, delish grilled veggies, beans, hamburgers and hot dogs and then I threw in some fruit,veggies, and dessert.
Heidi and Kurt--
Thank you so very much! We loved the food and most especially your company. Please feel free to feed us any time.

Gag A Maggot

Max doesn't feel like posting tonight, but he agreed to do the commentary on these pictures since I wasn't even there. So here goes--Max talking and me typing away.


Black had to go to the vet because he had really, really, really stinky boogers! He was treated last month for a tooth infection. The infection had gotten into his sinuses causing the putrid stench. He was on antibiotics for six weeks, and we thought it had cleared up. We were wrong!

On Monday tons of snot was pouring out of his nose. It was all over his legs, his pen, his face, etc. We consulted with the vet and were told to bring him in.

Brooke, Garrett and I loaded Black up Wednesday morning and headed to the vet. Here Brooke is helping the vets get Black into the contraption.
He was given a shot to sedate him. They flushed his mouth out with Betadine and water. The smell saturated the room!

Max no longer wants to play this game. He is giving minimal answers so I have excused him from what I thought was a clever activity. Why his brain does not function better in the evening, I will never understand. I will now try and recall how he explained it to me yesterday afternoon.

I talked to Max twice while they were at the clinic. Max said not only were he and the kids practically gagging, but the vet and tech were losing it as well. He said they were in a huge room that was completely saturated with the most disgusting smell he has ever experienced.

The "stuff" was pouring out of Black's big ol' head! It was floating everywhere on the floor. I'm so happy Max and Garrett took these pictures for me. Black now has to be on long term antibiotics twice a day. One is administered in his mouth, the other in his opposite end. We sure hope this therapy solves the problem. From what Max was told, the tooth is too hard to extract. She worries he would be left with a huge hole than would only get infected. Also, they feel Black is too old to be put under anesthesia.


I think I'm out of dialogue myself. All I have left is to tell you non horse people that yellow box is an x ray machine.
I'm off to floss.

Toe And A Letter

Brooke and I were doing some last minute school shopping at the mall this evening when I decided to take an embarrassing tumble UP the nonfunctioning escalator! Oh the pain. Oh the embarrassment! As I slow motion rolled into a ball of humilition, I could see the look on my daughter's face--Mom, why are you doing that in front of all these people-I can't take you anywhere! Kindly, instead of voicing her thoughts, she asked if I was OK. Define OK.


Tonight I have hobbled from room to room. What a silly klutz I am! I did a doozy on my right foot. I was thinking for a while that it had to be broken, but I am now settling on miserably jammed. It hurts most at the base of my big toe where the pad is. My panic is that tomorrow morning three of our kiddos start school. My mission on the first day is always to quickly move from class to class of my three children taking pictures (to be included in the end of the year slide show) of all the students waiting for the day to begin . This takes incredible athletic ability, intense desire, and a willingness to make a fool of myself in front of parents I've never met. How, I ask, am I going to accomplish that task tomorrow (Thursday) morning? Yes I know, there are people out there with real problems. I'm just going to argue for a second that it is all relative. After all, my foot is throbbing away.


Sticking to the school theme that seems to have consumed these last two posts, I thought I'd share the letter Max wrote to Brooke's new teacher, Mr. L. He requires his students to apply for work positions in his classroom. In this application, there is a section for references and a request for a letter of recommendation from each person listed. This is Max's letter (posted without his permission because he's sleeping and I don't feel like walking on my foot and asking if he'd mind):



Dear Mr. L.,

I am writing this letter in reference to Brooke A. Wade.

Brooke is an amazing child and I am proud to say that I am her father. This summer I have seen Brooke grow into a very responsible and caring young lady. I am a youth ranch director and have developed a youth mentorship program of which Brooke is one of the leaders. Though she is only ten years old, she has shown me a sincere, mature aptitude for serving others.

During a mentorship session, Brooke works along side a younger participant while they do a work project, groom and saddle the horse, and ride the horse. As she assists the child she gives encouragement as well as instruction. She maintains a positive, helpful attitude throughout the session. The children that she works with respond to her with smiles and laughter. I would recommend Brooke for any job for which she may apply.  She will be an asset to you as well as your students.

Sincerely,

Max A. Wade



I love that Max guy.
I love that Brooke girl.
I love Motrin.



Happy walking to you.