How Do You Plea?

News from the slammer.

The very next time I decide to marry a hardened criminal, I vow to marry one with a surname residing in the first half of the alphabet!

Max and Michelle Wade, the deadbeats of Rio Rancho, attended a proceeding in Municipal Court on a zoning violation. Michelle was rather smashing in her dark blue pants, a pleasant change from her tired blue jeans. Max, dapper in his collared shirt. Sitting in the back row cuddling and planning their defense, the morning was almost pleasant. No children to interrupt, no laundry to fold--maybe there is something to a life of crime.

They patiently waited as all the drunk drivers, shoplifters, and drug possessors argued their side of the story. This judge, a fair and kind man, graciously handed out community service like candy at Halloween. In the mean time, Max and Michelle debated back and forth--guilty, not guilty, or no contest? What was the truthful answer to the burning question?

"Max Wade." Finally--W called.

Michelle walked up the aisle along side her criminal spouse. The judge looked at the cowboy and read the charge. "You are accused of having horses but no primary residence--apparently this is a crime?.!.!? How do you plea?"

Max, "Well, sir, we do have horses there. . ."

Michelle, "We do want to build our house but the City is not allowing us to put in the water line. Without it, we cannot build our house. They are awaiting a meeting on June 23 for a vote on a new pro rata agreement. The permits have been pulled, the engineering done--we just can't build because the City is not allowing us."

Kind judge, "Well, I'm going to enter a plea of 'not guilty' and we'll see you back here in 30 days. Hopefully by that time we can have some resolution to this matter."

Max and Michelle exited the courtroom, pleased that fair, level-headed judges do exist.

Until next time. . .

Thanks to the gang for running the ranch in Max's absence. Way to be Melissa, Steph, Carri, Leah, De, Joyce, and Kat!

Yes, Your Honor

Alternate title--Breaking the law!

Well, today saw the court case of The City of Rio Rancho vs. Max Wade, Defendant. Don't all you new readers interested in having your children come ride at Galloping Grace feel confident in bringing them out? Let me explain.

Max and I own 22 acres in Rio Rancho, which is the land we decided to use for Galloping Grace. Even though ignorance is no excuse, we had no idea we could not put horses on the land before having a house on the property. The thought never even occurred to us. In our minds, we owned the land so we could put our horses there. It turns out the city of Rio Rancho does not agree.

Max was called by a code enforcement officer a few months back asking if we had plans submitted to the city to build a house. We didn't, but planned to eventually. We were trying to take things slowly as not to put ourselves in too much debt. Unfortunately, city codes don't give a hoot about what kind of budget a family is trying to keep. The officer was more than kind and gave us an extension to get the plans submitted. We didn't/couldn't meet the deadline. It is hard coming up with house plans. Even harder is getting water to the property. Without a water permit, we are not able to submit house plans. Throw in a brain cyst and impending heart surgery scare, along with a pumpkin stand, and we were doomed for our date with the judge.

Today was the day! I find it funny that only Max Wade was called as a defendant. This is a wonderful example why I have no use for women's lib! (I kid--sort of.) I, being the supportive wife that I am, accompanied Max to his hearing along with all the drunk drivers, shoplifters, and contempt of court people living in Rio Rancho. I was so tortured not having my camera to take pictures for all of you. I must admit that I enjoyed myself. Up until about the half way point, I toyed with the idea of heading to court once a month to listen to all the interesting cases. But because Max's case was heard third from last, I got over the idea of making court my entertainment as my bottom got increasingly sore.

I think we looked pretty dang wholesome compared to the shoplifters who "just put that fifth in my pocket because I had two other bottles of alcohol in my hands and couldn't carry it all as I walked to the counter" or "I wanted to get shoes for my niece for her birthday so I stole them". I had no idea so many people are out there performing community service for a plethora of charges!

The very first case of the day, the defendant was taken out of court in hand cuffs. There were two more that experienced the same fate. One of the three was a 20 year old guy we had a conversation with before court started this morning. He wanted to know why we were there, so we told him. He then told us he as been arrested 33 times for street racing! He said they suspend his license and then reinstate it a couple months later. I commented that isn't a real deterrent for him, and he agreed. He said he'd keep doing it. Tonight he is in jail where he was ordered to stay for 5 days.

I marveled at some of the outfits worn in court to impress the judge. Really--a scary skull shirt? Sagging pants and piercings galore? Whatever works, I say. Honestly, the judge seemed like a more than fair guy and was very lenient with most people he saw.

When it came to our turn, I could tell we weren't his average case. He read it and told us he was trying to decipher what it all meant. Once he figured out what our big crime was, he was a little miffed that we hadn't taken steps in permitting since our citation September 22. Readers, do you think I should have referred him to the blog so that he could see what poor time management skills I have? Kidding again. We messed up and we're sorry. We asked for an extension to get our plans submitted. He did a little disgusted chuckle and asked how long we thought we needed to come to compliance with the code violation. Max told him four months. A very loud scoff followed. I guess it's a good thing we didn't say 8 months, which would be much realistic in Max and Michelle time. He then said, "That's not going to happen!" Yikes. He then said he'd give us two months to make drastic steps or we would be fined and be subject to being cited again. If only I had admitted to having marijuana in my car, stealing a bad of chips, or worn a crazy shirt--he might have let us off with a slap. Nope. We (Max) report back January 2 and 9 AM.

Now, who wants to bring their children out for a ride? We have openings next week.


Seriously, please pray that we can get the water situation figured out and everything else taken care of. We are ready to be good law abiding citizens once again.